Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
