Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
