So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
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