I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize