the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
