Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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