You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
