I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
