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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god

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• (858): View more from California

  She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift

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• (234): View more from Ohio

  Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..

  (360): View more from Washington

  Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?

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