The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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