He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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