how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
