and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
