I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
