He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
