He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
