like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
