He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
my liver is dry heaving
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
