I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
