He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
