i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
