wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
