Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
