Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
