I am in a vortex of obligation.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
