when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i wish my penis had a tongue
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
