Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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