I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
