I smell stomach acid.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
