Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
