She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
