That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is wine microwaveable?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
They have beer where we have blood.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
