I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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