Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just tell him i said nine months
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
They took my balls.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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