Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
