is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Found the puke drawer
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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