Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Randomize