The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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