She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
