so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
