Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
