At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
