I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
