it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There's a naked man in my car right now.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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