i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
