he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize