I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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