i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
