you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
