I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
