you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
