she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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