That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
