I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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