i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
