it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
