im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
